Blend of Feelings

Board girlfriends:

Lika
Ammie
Alison

Lika
Ammie
Alison
Satsuki
Maria

We are going to church every Sunday now. I'm still adapting to the mixture of Portuguese and Spanish though... I'm seriously thinking of involving myself a bit more. I think I'll start going to the Biblical studies on Thursdays and to the praying services on Saturdays, although I might go alone and hubby stay home with the little ones. Emi danced in front of the TV on Tuesday, May 24, 2005, 04:39 p.m.

In the end we didn't go to any church on Sunday because it was Mother's Day. LOL We stayed at home and had a family dinner. I had baked a cake and drew icing flowers on it. Okaasan loved it and even took a pic. It also came out very tasty. I think it's the best cake I've ever baked. Emi danced in front of the TV on Monday, May 9, 2005, 12:55 p.m.

We sort of have a dilemma... We don't know if we'll keep going to the church that's here in Tsurumi or go to a church in Minami Rinkan, which means taking three trains (at night) and an hour trip. Thinking about the girls I guess it would be better to go to the church that's here in Tsurumi. The problem is that the people we know are in the church that's from where we live. We still don't know to which one we'll go this Sunday. Emi danced in front of the TV on Thursday, May 5, 2005, 10:07 p.m.

Have left the poor blog on extended vacation. Oh dear! Anyway, now I'm back... I hope. Yesterday we visited a new church that is here in Tsurumi. Very few people, but comfortable. At least is a church close to our home...

It's interesting how people judge other people. I've noticed that people judge according to how they are. For example, a son that speaks about his mother behind her back assumes that his mother is doing the same even if she isn't. It's because he judges his mother through who he is and not as a different person. Psychology. Very interesting topic. I really think that if I return to my homeland in two years I'll go back to college and study Psychology. Hehehehehe!!! Emi danced in front of the TV on Tuesday, March 1, 2005, 10:49 a.m.

When I was a child I remember my mom used to make us a different breakfast everyday. It was always a cereal, but it was always a different one. One day it was cornmeal, one day it was oatmeal, one day it was cream of wheat, one day it was hot rice cereal, etc. On Saturdays we ate a dry cereal like cornflakes and on Sundays we ate pancakes. The thing is that the portions seemed small and on Sundays it was just one pancake per person. I never complained and I was always satisfied. Also, when I graduated from High School I only weighed 98 lbs. (44 kg)

Gotta make a nap schedule for Aimi. Her naps are out of control and she is a "problem sleeper" at night. I'm starting to resent not being able to sleep at night. I never had this problem with Emi and so I never even read about it in my books. Always skipped the parts about baby's that don't sleep through. Aimi has been napping 4 hours a day. I'll reduce them to two. Also during the night I was hurrying to put the pacifier in her mouth and that's a mistake. I was doing this every 30 minutes because I didn't want her to wake hubby!!! I read that if I don't give her a break of several minutes to fall asleep by herself I'm doing her wrong. Maybe I can try sleeping in the other room with hubby and Emi and leaving Aimi by herself in the other room. It will probably make me unable to hear her immediately and she might fall asleep by herself. Let's see if reducing naps and doing this actually works for the better. Emi danced in front of the TV on Tuesday, February 1, 2005, 01:26 p.m.

I've been thinking of stopping breastfeeding by the time Aimi is 6 months. That would be in March. The problem is that everytime I think about it I get a feeling of guilt. I also had that feeling with Emi and soon I overcame it and by Emi's 7th month I was able to stop, but now with Aimi the feeling seems stronger. I'll see if I'll be able to do it. Emi danced in front of the TV on Monday, January 31, 2005, 09:01 a.m.

Being a mother can be hard sometimes, especially when you have a baby that doesn't want to play by herself in any way. She only wants to be in my arms and that doesn't let me do anything. It's hard whenever I have to do something and have to leave her crying. Emi wasn't like that. I could leave Emi by herself for a while and she played! But Aimi is different. She is not happy unless she is with mommy, but even if it's hard for me to do I really have to help her soothe herself. She has to learn how to entertain herself or I'll have no life at all!

Even if it isn't as cold as in other countries, prefectures, etc, for me it is still very cold here in Kanagawa. I have my reasons for feeling it's too cold. Heck! I come from an island where there are only summer and warm spring temperatures!!! I miss the tropical climate so much and not even a month has passed since I returned to Japan! I want time to pass quickly and spring to come already and then summer! At least February is almost here... Hope March will bring Spring weather... Emi danced in front of the TV on Thursday, January 27, 2005, 09:16 a.m.

Life can be so ironic sometimes. People say that when I go to PR I might get fatter, but actually I get fatter in Japan. Instead of losing weight I've gained more weight since I came here. I always tell myself I'm going to start dieting and there is always food I don't want to throw away and end up eating it. In PR my siblings devoured everything and nothing went to waste, but here it's just hubby, me, and the girls! I'll have to control the impulse of eating what no one will eat even if it means throwing food. Must also stop eating Emi's leftovers for my own good. My health and weight depend on it!!! Emi danced in front of the TV on Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 12:39 p.m.

Sometimes you imagine something that is going to happen and then things do not happen as you imagined they would. On Saturday I had this image in my head of hubby taking care of the girls on Sunday while I was able to clean the apartment. What really happened? Well, hubby wanted to sleep, I was stuck with the two girls, plus I couldn't use the vacuum cleaner because it could wake hubby. Later in the afternoon okaasan had taken Emi on a short trip, I was stuck with a fussy Aimi, and hubby was the one who ended up cleaning. So much for imagining false scenes... Emi danced in front of the TV on Monday, January 24, 2005, 08:06 a.m.

About a year ago I asked okaasan if she intended to live in Japan even after she couldn't get a job anymore. She said "yes". Suddenly some days ago she told me that when the time comes in which she cannot get a job anymore she has been thinking of moving with her sister to Brazil. I was quite surprised by this change of mind. On the other hand hubby has told me that he feels that here in Japan I'll always be a housewife and he doesn't want to like, ruin my career or something. He is thinking that in two years or so Emi will be entering Kindergarten. He wants me to get Emi into a Kindergarten in PR, move with the two girls to PR and finish my studies (master and doctorate's degrees). He says that he can stay behind working and saving lots of money and then later move to PR too. I don't really know what will happen, but it is better to think about the future beforehand. We'll see what the future holds for us. If our life will be in Japan or in PR. In my opinion, whatever's best for the girls will be fine with me. Emi danced in front of the TV on Friday, January 21, 2005, 03:23 p.m.

Since I'm back in Japan and I promised I was going to resurrect my blog here I am doing so.

Dear blog! I have abandoned you for so long now! But when I return to Japan I assure you I will update you more frequently! Being alone at home (although with babies) with a computer in your room can make you update things almost everyday!

Long time since I last updated here! Puerto Rico has turned me lazy!!! Maybe it's because I have so many things to do here. In Japan I was most of the time in the apartment with little Emi... Hmm... Ammie-chan
even changed her layout. Makes me feel worse about how I've abandoned the poor blog! But I won't give it up! No way! I have to be persistent! Emi danced in front of the TV on Sunday, June 27, 2004, 01:42 p.m.

When I came to PR I thought I needed more skirts. Now I notice I only have a pair of jeans. Of course I am talking about maternity clothing. The problem? With skirts I have to shave my legs all the time and pregnancy sensitive skin is my enemy. I get horrible rash no matter what I do to shave my legs. I've decided to buy at least two additional pairs of jeans so that I don't have to shave so often. Emi danced in front of the TV on Saturday, May 15, 2004, 01:45 p.m.

Hubby has already called twice since I got to PR while Ihaven't called him. Must really get my hands on a phone card. poor hubby.

My friend Miyuki arrived with her two kids to Japan last week and so I was able to see her at church on Sunday. I was already afraid I wasn't going to be able to say good bye to her before my trip for when she was going to Argentina I told her I was going to travel in May. She was returning this month so we thought we were going to have plenty of time to see each other and she even thought I was going to be able to go to Masayuki's B'day party (her oldest son). With the change of my flight date to April things are not going to be as we thought. At least hubby might be able to go to her son's B'Day.

Yesterday church was completely full, but I wasn't surprised at all. It seems that the people who have been absent for so long decided to appear for Easter Sunday. Next Sunday will be my last in that church. If I'm strong enough by Sunday the 25th I'll be going to another church. I wonder how it will be for my parents changed churches many months ago. I really don't intend to go to my old church there in PR. Last year I didn't feel received at all. I felt like a total stranger and I promised myself I wouldn't set a foot there again when the pastor was disrespectful to my family and even lied about my dad to everyone from the front. I was really surprised about that. If it had been Old Testament times God would have killed him, but of course we are under the 'grace'. I hope he will change someday because if not everyone will leave him. Emi danced in front of the TV on Monday, April 12, 2004, 04:26 p.m.

Went to church yesterday. Many people we usually see weren't there. There were many empty seats. I was quite surprised because it was such a fine day with a spring temperature of 18 degrees C (64.4 F). I wonder why many people did not come. Maybe they are getting tired of the same routine. It's a little bot hard to accept, but the church we go to here in Japan is very monotonous and most of the time boring. I really prefer churches in PR. They are so lively and you really enjoy everything including the sermon. Hope the pastor here will decide to improve the religious service so that more people will be able to participate and enjoy themselves. Emi danced in front of the TV on Monday, March 29, 2004, 05:10 p.m.

Now I know that the only purpose of my trip to PR won't be just for having a baby and being with my family over there. The other reason is I will finally have a vacation from my mother-in-law! I actually get along with her very well, but she keeps driving me nuts! And she forgets everything! I need more patience with her than with Emi. I had noticed my face towels and hubby's were getting stained and smelly even when only used twice. I wondered what was wrong and found out that okaasan was using them as kitchen towels! She even ruined one of my facial towels by drying spilled tea with it. The stains won't come out so now I did turn it into a kitchen towel. I told her that she cannot use any towel to clean or wipe things in the kitchen. There are enough kitchen towels and kitchen wipes for that! Did she listen? No. She kept doing it. Now I have to hide my precious facial towels from her. Then it comes to my bath towels. I get my bath towels out of the drawers and hang them on a chair in our bedroom. Whenever I was going to take a bath or a shower my towels were wet!!! I discovered that okaasan, whenever she washed Emi, she used Emi's towel to dry Emi's body and MY towel to dry Emi's hair! I was horrified. Again I told her I really want my towel to be dry when I'm going for the shower and at least she seems to have listened to me on that one. Anyway, she is also trying to teach Emi incorrectly. For example I had taught Emi to tell me when she had done a poo. Emi learned fast and always told me. Suddenly Emi started calling poo to the nappy and to trash. I discovered of course it was okaasan's doing. (God give me patience!) And so Emi wasn't telling me anymore when she had done a poo. Duh! She was confused thanks to her grandmother. At least I'm dealing with this and today Emi told me when she had done a poo to my relief. Then there's okaasan's reasoning. Hubby is always calling her baka (stupid) because of her 'special way' of reasoning. I try to defend her on that one because I know that she only graduated from Elementary School. A college graduate is used to retaining information and of course will have a different way of reasoning from someone who only graduated from Elementary School. Still, hubby says that it is not that, that she is stupid. Hubby is so cruel sometimes. I can't believe he treats his mother that way! Anyway, so many months without my mother-in-law will do wonders for me.

I'm mentally preparing for my trip to PR, but I've already had nightmares about things going insane in the airport. I even dreamt they were sending me to different counters and I was going nuts with my bag and Emi because the counters were so far from one another. It's probably nervousness due to the trip. One month to go and I'll be in my home country. I will probably feel very strange as it happened last year. I even felt uncomfortable when I was in restaurants and saw so many people talking to each other when here in Japan it's total silence. There are many social differences.

My mom's B-Day is today! Happy B-Day mom! I've been denying my blog by a few weeks already??? Waaahhhh!

Still no Emi pic for this blog. Maybe I should just stick with Sailor Moon. After all, it shows! Hehehehehehehe!!!

Just noticed your
new blog layout! I like it! I'm so glad you liked the comment on the Octopus Army store reminding me of you and the octopus tie! Hehehehehehehehe! Hmm... You mention talking cats and for some reason instead of Luna Kyou-kun from Fruits Basket comes to mind. Although he does turn into an orange cat. Eek! Spoilers! Emi danced in front of the TV on Sunday, February 15, 2004, 09:28 a.m.

Yesterday Emi-chan had her first restaurant meal. They even brought us a basket with toys for Emi to choose one. Okaasan chose a little toy robot. Emi surprised us by eating almost everything. Of course we had to be the ones to feed her most of the time because she is still very clumsy when feeding herself. We didn't want to make a disaster in the restaurant.

Bought some chocolates for Aki-chan. He'll be surprised. Hehehehehehehe!!! He was happy yesterday. I managed to make a home mashed potato and steaks dinner. Even okaasan tasted a steak and said it was delicious. As usual she asked me for the recipe.

Morning sickness keeps worsening with each day that passes. I'm throwing up more frequently, but not dangerously frequently and my weight is okay. Still, even though hubby was free on Sunday we couldn't go to church. I cannot stand a trip like that with so much nausea. Emi danced in front of the TV on Monday, February 9, 2004, 11:15 a.m.

Fellow Hobbit
Today we went to Landmark Plaza to eat at Wendy's and buy some bread in Vie de France. As usual I saw this clothing store that reminds me of you! It's because it's called Octopus Army and that always reminds me of the octopus tie. I'm pretty sure that the store must be foreign though. Emi-chan gave us hell in the mall. That made us leave earlier than what we intended. I wanted to do some window shopping and see new tendencies in kid's clothing, especially the Spring fashions. Sniff! Emi danced in front of the TV on Friday, February 6, 2004, 02:33 p.m.

LOL I don't think Aki-chan would like the idea of sharing his wife darling
. And what your neechan told you is true. In my case "morning" sickness attacks in its worse form at nights! Although I did throw up today before lunchtime. At least Emi was taking a nap and didn't have to see me kneeling in front of the toilet. I knew you were going to love the Usagi+Luna image. Pity it's only temporary. Hehehehehehehe!!! My mom also loved it.

Using a temporary image for the blog not to look so empty. Hope to change it to an Emi pic soon.

Hubby must be trying to kill me or something. He cleansed the kitchen last night and in the morning I thought I was going to collapse thanks to horrible chlorine scent. I turned on the kitchen fan and thank God the odor diminished. Still, I've been feeling sick all day. I was going to make creamy stew for dinner. I had no problem cutting veggies, but when I tried to cut meat okaasan had to intervene. I almost threw up! Thank God she was here and helped. Emi danced in front of the TV on Monday, February 2, 2004, 06:53 p.m.

Decided to change the blog a bit. Hope to have a pic soon.

Nicknames: Jamnille/Sarai

Real name: Go figure!

Marital status: married

Occupation: Student and mom